The First Month

How many before me have taken this picture?

The first two weeks here were just orientation. Taking tours of the area, getting to know people from across the country, showing up late to informational meetings, you know the drill. Our "school" (we're getting credits through Humboldt but all of our classes are in English and in a totally separate building) is in the former East Germany and really close to the Jewish Quarters, plus it's Berlin, so you can imagine all of the history we see on a daily basis. But it's taken a while to really feel the history, rather than wonder at the city's age.

The thing that helped drill it into me was a tour through the bunkers under Berlin. During the Cold War, several bunkers were built to protect citizens from nuclear attack, and all of them are still functional, though mostly serve as places to teach, remind us of what could be, and, for me, provide imaginings of what it would actually be like to go through something like that.

I can't fully describe the bunkers, and we weren't allowed to take any pictures. But I'm sure you've watched enough disaster movies and read enough history books to understand what I'm talking about. On top of that, memorials to those lost in World War II are a constant reminder to the history of Germany and every class I'm in has had at least one big discussion about the fall of the wall and what it means to the City of Berlin. I've been dwelling on a question while I've been here--how much does the pain of history have to be at the forefront of our minds? It's important to learn from past mistakes, but does that prevent one from looking into the future?

I was worried that I would feel like a tourist in this Country, and for the first couple weeks I did. I tried to order food in German, but every one spoke a little too fast for me to understand the first time. Plus traveling mostly in large groups of loud Americans drew a lot of attention to our foreign-ness. I thought a lot about how best to blend into the crowd, how to look like a Berliner, so I didn't hold my camera out at every monument or wear the bright colors I'm used to. I kept my head down and used my RBF (resting bitch face) on the trains. But after the first weekend I realized maybe it's not such a bad thing to be a tourist. So, after the first month, I still listen to my podcasts and music on the train, but look up a little more often. I smile at one or two more people and I just bought a bright red coat. I have the chance to change who I am in Berlin, but I think I still want to be mostly me.